Family

Hard to imagine that we've been on this trip since Oct 07. The time has just slipped away yet the experience has been a joy and refreshing in so many ways. I've been with my family virtually every moment of everyday, since the day we left. Seven months. Although I've always been blessed with being very close to my family, this trip has taken the experience to new heights.

Interesting things happen when you are together so much. The bond that ties us grows tremendously of course, but it goes beyond that. It is as if you become a singular unit. Always on the same page. Take this for example, in just one day recently Syd and I shared thoughts many times starting with dreams.

Frequently when we wake we discuss out nights' dreams. Lately it has not been unusual for us to have the same, or very similar dreams. Same scenes types, same subject matter, same feelings. The other night we both dreamed about traveling through a deep ravine, our way slowed by water, mud and step canyon walls. Syd would start to talk about the dream and I could generally finish the thought. Neither of us could relate the dream (dreams) to events of the previous day. No sense of where it came from. Its an uncanny experience, but so frequent during our 12 years together that it doesn't freak me out anymore

Later, same day, I was preparing the kids' school work for the day and thought it would be a good day to start an American History book that Syd had purchased for the kids over a month earlier. During that month Syd had only read to the kids once from the book. As I went get the book Syd came from the bedroom with it in hand. She too had decided that today was the day.

Late morning, same day, after a session on the courts at the Canggu Club, I showered and then decided to make an appointment for a massage. The massoure had an immediate opening so I took it. I went to tell the kids to tell Mom that thats where I'd be. Moments later, Syd appeared, she too had made an appointment directly out of the shower. She too had also gone to tell the kids, to have the kids tell me thats where she'd be. The kids laughed at us.

Massages are nothing unusual for us but you have to understand, after coming to this club for over a month, we had never gotten a body massage here, nor had we discussed doing so. It wasn't part of our routine, yet we did the exact same thing at the exact same time. Again.

So there we were, in the same room getting rubbed. After some time and relaxation , I blurt out to Syd I I didn't look forward to not being able to get massages often once back in the States. Of course she was having that thought at that moment as well. A few moments later, different thought, same scenario.

All of the above in just one morning. So that's the kinda of connection that I get to experience. As you get used to it you just start moving in sync with your partner and kids. Less talk, less effort, more action. What parents can say that the transition from being home one moment and in a car headed to the beach the next was nearly effortless. Sure the kids forget some stuff, but for the most part they are on the same page and progress through heir duties without a word.

Much of it comes from being in a no stress , no schedule, deadlines or work environment. Just living together and really connecting, the way things were meant to be before modern life confused everything. In some ways the synchronicity seems/feels tribal.

You know, simple.

Being married to Syd is an experience that's hard to describe; I'm glad its my experience.

P.S. the pictures are from many diferent trips, including Africa and Australia

Funny Stuff (2)

Uses for Mopeds:

I only thought that I had seen a lot of Mopeds in Thailand. About 50% of the vehicles there are mopeds. Bali on the other hand I’d say about 80% are mopeds, but it doesn't’t seem to hinder the owners in any way. Mopeds are used for transporting all types of things. Here a partial list of what I’ve seen;

1) A family of five
(Note standing baby and Sidesaddle mom above, we were traveling at 55km/hr. Nice Helmet!)
2) Six spare tires (two around the waist)
3) Ladders. One was at least 12’ in length. (This feat requires two passengers).
4) Rebar. (Just drag the excess).
5) Your Pet
6) Donut, Ice Cream and Sandwich Merchants
7) An open umbrella, to keep the sun off of course.
8) Surfboards
9) An entire sheet of plywood. (This one was a little sketchy).
10) A Ten year old driver… with friend.

I had been thinking about getting a pick-up but in the face of high fuel prices I’m going to reconsider. Maybe just a moped.


How I know we’ve been away too long:

The kids are a really good litmus test of what we’ve been absorbing on this trip. Lately their games have changed quite a bit. During the last few weeks in Thailand they were playing a game called "Buddha and the Monk". (Or that’s what it amount to anyway). Basically one got to be Buddha (See Insert) and the other did everything for them. This usually meant getting food and rubbing their feet.

Another game they had been playing was called “Legend Spa and Resort”. This game amounts to taking bubble baths (with all the bubble bath solution they could find) and ordering room service while bathing. Both the kids have had numerous massages and are actually getting very good at giving them. They are likely ruined for life.

Musically, Barrett is getting interested in drumming. She recently collected 8 coconuts, hollowed them out, arranged them in line and started beating them with a stick. The sound was surprisingly good. However, after a couple of days of this she asked for drums for Christmas. I told her they don’t celebrate Christmas here.

Rylan has now dropped tennis as his favorite sport. Surfing has taken its’ place.Day one we had to keep him from paddling out too far. Day two he couldn’t resist, made it past the break, got hammered, and immediately started out again. He is very excited to “get tubed” by the wave.

For my Baja Friends,

Just when I thought the Los Barriles "Donut Guy" had the best business plan around we met his match. Driving a Moped in a somewhat remote portion of Bali we came up behind this guy (See Picture). As we get closer we realize that what he's packing is Donuts. Donuts! The only thing that will keep Larry off the water. Smartly displayed facing backward were all types including Rylan's favorite, chocolate sprinkles. Once the kids saw that, it was all over. We honked a few times, that didn't work so we passed and flagged him down. The merchant took it all in stride, as if that was the whole point. No macaroons, but the donuts did the trick.

Check out that rig, nice paneers!

We’re coming back soon.

The Canngu Club

So we’re in Bali, a very Maui, HI. type island but with a twist; things are relatively inexpensive and the locals are actually friendly. (I guess since we didn’t kill their king they don’t hate us like the Hawaiians). We didn’t really know what to expect from Bali but so far it’s been a pleasant surprise. The island is beautiful, varied, and to some degree still has the feeling that you would expect from an island in the south pacific. To top it off it’s nice to be back in a place where most everyone can speak English.

After a week at a beachfront hotel (read: tourist central), we positioned ourselves outside the tourist zone in the smallish community of Canggu. The idea was to be close enough to good restaurants but far enough away from the main tourist zones. Most importantly, to be near a tennis club. As it turns out The Canggu Club is a very posh, uppity kind of place, complete with gated security, valet parking and service personnel, at your beckon, seemingly everywhere.
I was quite surprised when Syd and I showed up on court to hit and a young ball girl came dashing out toting two fresh towels and two cold cup of water. My first thought was, I hadn’t ordered that service but I let it go as she was so good at fetching our errant balls. When we finished we were treated to cold face towels pulled from the refrigerator. Ala, Life styles of the rich and famous.

The facility has two great pool areas, two kids rooms, a restaurant, bar, library with free wireless, and locker rooms that are nicer then most peoples homes. The members show up for their workouts in designer duds, (the women mostly, men are always slobs) hand their kids off to their Balinese nannies and then proceed to workout for twenty minutes before their "tea".

We felt well out of place at first but are doing our best to get used to the lifestyle. Since we’re only here for a month or so we figure most members won’t realize we’re wearing the same clothes everyday. (We packed very light for this trip).

Since it was Easter break the Club was running a kids sport camp for the adjacent school, so we enrolled the kids. (Not in the school, but the camp). Nice to see the kids with other kids for a change. Rylan proceeded to take the Boys Doubles Trophy in his tennis event and Barrett’s team, the “Pink Coconuts” were also victorious in their events. When the kids are happy, we are happy.

The expats we’ve met here are certainly an interesting/exciting bunch. Our first night socializing after the Wednesday night “tennis social” (Yes we are now attending “tennis socials”! Kind of comes with the territory). We found ourselves self surrounded by a very unusual cast of characters. One, couple from Argentina whom had lost it all during that countries' financial crisis, consulted a physic, moved to Bali and now make jewelry for the rich and famous including many Hollywood stars. Another guy, half Sumatran half Dutch, whom was born in a Japanese concentration camp and now travels the world as a EcoResort designer guru. (Whatever that means). A Swiss/German guy who, while chain smoking, couldn’t shut up about the benefits of consuming Aloe Verde as a supplement. A French Canadian named Sarah that insisted I pronounce her name Sara; (like Car-a), not Sarah; (like Air-a) as it was spelled. Somehow we hit it off, had a great time, closed the club bar and then proceeded downtown to close the other bars in Bali.

Marcel, the Argentinean turned out to be rock star took over the stage and belted out a few songs; one in Spanish the other in Indonesian. Very impressive. “Sara” turned out to be a bit short tempered when under the influence, decided she knew more about Aloe Verde then the guy who studies, grows and sells it. Scared him away with a verbal lashing. I just absorbed it all and bought everyone another round of drinks.

The night was "all the buzz" the next few days at the club. So we’re in. Canggu Club regulars. We’re now frantically shopping for new clothes so we don’t get found out.

Don't Stare

My first experience with fundamental (conservative) Muslims was when we got to Bangkok and did our health screening. The Brumrangad (sp) Hospital attracts a fairly affluent crowd so it was packed with Saudis and other Arabs. Many of the women were from the more conservative sect of Islam, dressed in the full burka complete with heavily veiled eyes. They waited for their appoints in the lobby with the rest of us.

I tried not to stare but I couldn't help but glance a few times because it was such a novelty to me. As is always the case when looking at the opposite sex, you get caught taking your peek. Obviously, I wasn't looking because of the sexy attire but I was caught regardless and her reaction was a surprise. The lady quickly turned her head and rubbed her eyes as if she needed to rid herself of the vision. I immediately became uncomfortable, her reaction to my glance was far more acute then I was prepared for. I obviously had made a social faupa.

Months later in Kuala Lumpur I learned a bit more about the Muslim religion(s) and beliefs. Taxi drivers are a great source of information when traveling, as they have a genetic predisposition to jabber. In KL ,as in NYC, most seemed to be Hindu Indian, and the ones I met certainly didn't have any love loss for the country's Muslim majority. Anyway, I was told that frequently the Taxi drives are told not to use their re-view mirrors when driving with fundamental Muslims because it might cause them to look directly at the woman. This is a big no no. "Told" by the husband or child that is accompanying the woman, because the woman can not talk directly to, or travel alone with "the strange man". This causes some friction between the Taxi drivers and Muslims. Ours declared that he simply asks the passengers to "get out", if they have a problem with use of the rear-view.

I started thinking about the recent Muslim rape case that has been all over the International news in the past months. You hear these things but somehow imagine their occurrence happened in some remote, fundamental district of Islam, one that is a strong hold of the belief. I was surprised, being in such a seemingly progressive and modern city to be hearing the stories like these.

According to what I read at the Center of Islamic Arts this "veiled attire" got its start by a sense of modesty. (Perhaps slightly over developed). The famous Islamic lattice arts and carvings got their start as a type of blind (curtain) for placement around womens areas within the home. Men could see the women through the blinds but not directly. The taxi drivers however say that is all BS and the reason for the veiling of the women is pure jealously. The men simply are protecting their assets so to speak. Accordingly, the culture is very suspicious one. Either way the whole tradition is completely archaic and seems out of place now in the 21st century. But then again so do many of the religious habits of western cultures.

As with many things, the whole experience got me thinking; thinking about what it must be like and what effect these restraints would have on Muslim women. How altered does a person become when they learn not to look at people, not to acknowledge a person and spend a whole life [not] doing so. I couldn't image so I tried it for for a few minutes while waiting for Syd and the kids at the mall. I lasted about 5 minutes, then a pretty young lady walked by. Okay maybe I could have tried harder but it just seemed so unnatural, cruel really.

I should note that the majority of Muslims, in KL and Thailand, don't follow this stricter version of the religion. Their version is defined by a simple head scarf for the women, perhaps not much different then wearing a cross for Christains. We've had a few chances to interact with Muslims but in general I don't get the feeling that they are very social outside their culture. They are however, social enough to ask for a picture. Muslims (and Asians in general) seem to have a fascination with blonds, girls in particular. In the course of a couple hours, while visiting a "Discovery Center" in KL, Barrett had her picture taken by Muslim strangers 3-4 times . I kept waiting for one to ask me how much I'd sell her for. Maybe if we had run into the prince I would have gotten a good price. We didn't so we still have her.

McCity

We finally cut the Chiang Mai umbilical cord and have made our way to Malaysia. Why we ended up here doesn’t really have a good explanation other then the flights were cheap in this direction and it was a logical stop over on the way to he beaches of Bali.

Our first destination was a resort outside the city of Kuala Lumpur. Turned out to be a very strange place. Located on the very top of the mountains, like a ski resort, was an amusement park surrounded by massive hotels, restaurants, a casino and a “Super Mall” So high in the mountains that we had to take a tramway to get there from our hotel. The reason we went there was to entertain the kids at the amusement park for a day or two, but a day was more then enough so we spent the remaining days at our hotel pool and tennis courts.

Staying at the hotel there on a mountaintop, in the jungle really offered no sense of doing anything “different” or worthy of “blogging” about the experience. In fact just the opposite; it felt like I could have been at any resort anywhere in the world. Same room, same pool, same corporate hotel experience that I’ve had countless other, not so memorable times. The only thing different was watching Muslim kids play, swim with their headscarf’s on. A curiosity at best.

It didn’t stop at the hotel either, the amusement park and adjoining mall, restaurants, and casinos were the same as well. Well not quite the same, this “super mall” was like one I never seen before. It was as if they consulted Michael Jackson for inspiration. You know, Neverland/Mall. Ultimately however it was the same; Buy this, buy that, same same. (See picture above, yes that is a mall). Needless to say the experience was disappointing. I know, I’m jaded, lucky the kids aren’t and they had a great time.

After four nights we headed to Kuala Lumpur for a look. We picked a hotel that was smack in the center of the city and I looked forward to seeing a city with/from a Muslim perspective. It occurred to me that this was my first visit to a truly Muslim country. As such, I decided that I wanted to visit the National Mosque and The Center for Islamic Arts. The kids decided that they wanted to see the Pertronis Twin Towers (aka; the 3rd tallest building in the world). Of course, we had to do that first.

I was surprised at just how modern and spectacular the towers were. Really beautiful, much more so then the pictures portray. My assumption was that KL was going to be a “Developing City” in a developing country. I was dead wrong. KL is really a very modern city with a vibrant, high-end commercial district complete with, well, everything one would expect from a modern city. Malaysia, like so many other Asian countries is booming and their riches are growing quickly.

We went inside the towers in hope to take an elevator to the top, what we found was the first six floors were, you guessed it, another f *#*”! super mall. At this point I was completely disillusioned. Here we were in the Capitol of Muslim Malaysia, expecting to experience a city with a different point of view and all I see is Gucci outlets, Cartier watches, Abercrombie & Fitch clothes, Nike, and on and on and on. Six floors of the same shops, same displays, same appeal, same same; capitalism, commercialism at its finest. The “Islamic perspective” that I was so keen for was relegated to the souvenir shops selling trinket replicas of the National Mosque, the Twin Towers and various other notable buildings of Islamic architecture. All made in China of course.

So that was it and it made me wonder what all the conflict is about? If the Muslims are embracing western culture (at least I used to consider as western culture) with such zeal, complete with all its conspicuous consumption, branding, image tailoring and all other things “western”. What are we fighting about? Seems as if the multinationals have already won. They are everywhere, imposing their version of the ideal image, creating demand for continued consumption, altering individual’s perspective of what is important, with seeming ease! They have won. They bypass political boundaries, and personal ideologies by appealing directly to a persons “need” to adorn themselves, and make themselves “special” (you know, special like everyone else) and ultimately to consume. Perhaps we should simply consult with these marketing gurus on how to reduce world tensions?

It’s not just Kuala Lumpur either. Syd has been watching the transformation of Shanghi and Beijing for the past ten years. The old, culturally homogenous cities have nearly vanished since United Airlines starting flying there. Markets replaced with malls, family restaurants (and recipes) replaced with McDonalds. It reminds me of a National Geographic article I read years back. The photographer was complaining about how the “T-shirt” had destroyed (replaced) traditional dress and as such photographs no longer captured the essence of the culture. Well that trend continues.

I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw a young Muslim girl, complete with headdress (scarf), walking through the mall wearing the “Just DO It” Nike shirt. (Wasn’t that ad campaign all about how independent, strong and "free willed" the individual is, women included) At least she wasn’t wearing the shirt that was the sequel. (Just DID It). Another image was the Muslim lady, wearing mostly black but with a bright pink Mickey Mouse purse. Cute, but ironic, especially if you know much about Disney and it’s subsidiaries. I guess I always see the irony, but that’s just me.


So that’s it. Basically all we did in Malaysia was see and do what we could have done anywhere. Any McCity. We didn’t mean too but because we did what tourist do we were trapped.

Bragging

As we ready for departure from Thailand on the 26th I got to thinking about just how much travel our kids have done. Syd has kept a log book for them since birth, of all their flights. Never has she missed one. Both kids have countless miles and Rylan over a hundred flights. I remember on a commuter flight to my Moms in Kansas: The young pilot, after signing and browsing their flight log/books told me that they had more "flight time" then he did. I kinda laughed, a bit nervously, but then he added, "No really I mean it". Scary.

Thinking about their travel I realized that they have both already been on ever Continent, excluding Antarctica. (They have been within 60 miles of Antarctica) Ever Continent. Amazing! Barrett succeeded in this feat before she was 7 years of age! They even have been to The Cape of Good Hope (South Africa) and rounded Cape Horn . Of course I was their for all that fun too, but it just seems like such a great feat for these two kids.

I tried to count, Rylan has visited 17 countries and Barrett 16. (Soon to be 2 more for each).

Lucky Kids.

PS.
(Amazingly, we've (myself included) have never been to Canada).

Moving On

Well I guess the time has come to head out of Thailand. We both agonized over the decision for over a month. Neither of us really want to leave but the hassle of renewing Visas and the general goal of wanting to "travel" finally forced the issue.

We have made good friends here and the thought of leaving them is a bit painful. Mostly the people at the SL Tennis Club where we play with have been a source of joy. They have been so good to us and given us a great opportunity to see life through their eyes. Lately we have been together with them daily and it was very hard breaking the news to them that we are leaving.
Of course, we say we'll be back and we'll see them again, but if history is and indication that is really unlikely. It is a sad scenario but the experience has been fantastic and has changed my perspective in many ways. I hope to always carry a bit of Thai culture in my life and demeanor from this point forward.

So we head to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia on the 26th. Mostly we're heading there to give the kids treat by going to a big amusement park. They have been great with the routine here and deserve it. We'll also go to the city and see what it has to offer. We will be there until only the 1st of April when we head to Bali. Again for the kids, as they want to spend some time on the beach, do some snorkeling and "get on a boat" Didn't sound like a bad thing to do so we relented to the demand. We have friends there (well friends of friends) as well so we should be able to find the "inside track " quickly.

I promise to write about it as things unfold. I'm sorry I haven't written much of late but the idea of being on the computer has just been a real turn-off.


For Leslie...

Thailand has a very large Ex-Pat community, probably more so then most places I've visited. There are ex-pat newspapers, organizations and activities. Not just Americans either, in fact there are likely many more Europeans here then English speaking folks. The people we've ended up spending time here are mostly from the American Consulate as well as private entrepreneurs, (mostly internet related).

All of them speak highly of living in Thailand but of course there are caveats. For one you must be willing to live in a "developing country". Many people, (perhaps Americans especially), tend to look down at lesser developed countries, complaining about how "they should have this and they should have that". Another issue are "rights". Here you will never be a citizen even when you get a retirement visa. Owning a house here is probably not a good idea, there are just too many uncertainties. Luckily renting is incredible inexpensive. For around $400 a month you can live in a modest house in a modest neighborhood. For $800-$1000 a month you can live in a fancy house (3bed, 3 bath) gated community complete with tennis courts, pool and club house. So from that point of view things are cheap.

Heath care and meds. are incredibly inexpensive, perhaps a tenth of what we pay in out country. (This fact seems to be a global theme). The quality of health care is good, better then what we see in the states. I wouldn't think twice about undergoing surgery here, at the right facility that is.

Safe? Is it safe? That is the most typical American question ever. Thailand the capital of Sex and the Underworld. The Mafia and Drug Trade. That is the impression and it's true, but it is also true of America, Europe, Africa, etc. Just depends on where you are. South L.A. comes to mind.

I've never been to a "Country" that was unsafe, but I have been to regions and cities that were. Cities in Africa come to mind. I'd say the most "unsafe" place that we've stayed was Harare, Zimbabwe two years ago. That place felt unsafe from the moment we got off the plane and didn't get any better when we got to the guarded, gated hotel. When we asked if it was safe to walk to the restaurant we were provided an escort. At the time inflation was 5000% (not nearly where it is today) and the government was destroying the economy and peoples lives as fast as it could. The dispair there was very apparent and it seemed the country was close to a boiling point. We felt like targets of opportunity for these desperate people.

Getting back on subject, "Thailand" is not an unsafe country but there are places and types of people that you would want to avoid. But if you stay out of the brothels, and avoid trading heroin and those types of connections, you'll be fine. :)

In Chiang Mai violent crime is almost nonexistent. I'd have no problem with Syd walking around at night down virtually any street in this city. This view is bourne out by the conversations I've had with the locals here, both Thai and ex-pat. In fact I'd have to say this is probably one of the safest cities I've been to. Violent crime just isn't an issue.

Petty crime is very low as well. It just doesn't seem to be in the demeanor of the people here. There are very few beggars as food is plentiful and the nucleus family (ie; support) is still prevalent here. The city is over 700 years old, steeped in "rural traditions", I just don't see crime as an issue.

I can't talk for other parts of Thailand but I'd certainly not have any misgivings of traveling around this country by car. The nicest people I've ever met live here.